And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
Randomize
