I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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