I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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