your thong is hanging out like whoa
The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
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