My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
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