I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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