i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
