I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
I smell like Dick and happiness
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
