i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Randomize
