I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
Randomize
