he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
Randomize
