i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
PANTIES FOUND
Randomize
