Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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