I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Randomize
