"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
Randomize
