Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
Randomize
