bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Randomize
