I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
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