i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
