Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
false alarm. still invincible.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
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