It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
