Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Randomize
