She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
Redeem this text for a blowjob
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
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