Don't you send me to vm
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Randomize