His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Randomize
