i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
Randomize