Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Randomize
