Say something about gay babies.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
Randomize
