i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
Randomize
