I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
it was like having sex with a tree stump
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
