I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
