Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
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