I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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