How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
