You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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