Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
My Sexting was not on an AP level
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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