I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
Randomize
