Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
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