her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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