The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
