If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
Randomize
