he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
