What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Randomize