If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
You're a waste of cheezeits
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Randomize
