You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
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