Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
People with herpes should wear stickers.
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
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