Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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