she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
