Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
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