I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
Randomize
