oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
Randomize
