if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
Randomize