There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
Randomize
