I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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