He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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