was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
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