I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
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