i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
Randomize