the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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