9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
Randomize
