so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
