I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Randomize