Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
