I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize
