Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize