a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
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