so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
Never let your siblings swipe right.
Randomize
