I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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