Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Randomize
