I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
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