You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
Randomize
