All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
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