WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Randomize
