well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
