Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
